Monday, March 14, 2016

A Different Kind Of Valentines Day

Valentines Day...Love it or Hate it... Or look at it like this....

It's that time of year again. The time where the shelves of every store are full of pink and red everything and a silly stuffed bear will cost you more than your phone payment. Some of us live for this day and others dread it, but what we all have in common is that no matter what our outward emotion is towards the day that is meant for love, is that we all secretly just want to have a good day and spend it with someone we love.
I'm aware of the obvious idea of Valentines Day and the most common form of events that is suppose to happen...
Girl gets excited. Boy gets stressed out over what to get girl. Girl shares ridiculous over done videos on facebook of others Valentines Day ideas in hope boy sees and takes hint. Then the day comes and boy brings girl teddy bear and flowers and asks "I don't know what do you want to do?" Girl gets mad instead of just sharing her ideas and plans. Blah Blah Blah Blah. Fire and brimstone rain down, and end in possible break up. (Well that's a little extreme)
Then of course you have the "I hate Valentines Day" group because again they want this perfect idea of what they think Valentine's Day is but they have never had it given to them by someone they love and now they are single so its stupid anyways.
Lets not even get started with the group who looks for "In The Mean Time" partners just so they don't have to be alone on Valentines Day. (Gasp! whatever will you do on Valentines Day with out a boyfriend or girlfriend!)

So of course there is a history behind Valentines Day. Some ancient Roman saint did this or that and it was dubbed Valentines Day FOREVER! Last I checked it had nothing to do with greeting cards or diamonds or expensive gifts of any kind, and focused on things other than candle lit dinners. Also last I checked Valentines Day has become a focus on dates and ideas and who's boyfriend got her the bigger set of roses or the bathtub full of bubbles and candles. (That's romantic Valentines Day stuff right? Well according to Pinterest it is)

Valentines Day has become a generic holiday where we all do obvious things with our significant others while anyone single hides under their covers crying and eating alone because this holiday is obviously not for them right? (and none for Gretchen Wieners) anyways that's what we are told. Valentines Day is for the lovers and the couples rather you are straight, gay, bi, lesbian, transsexual, pan-sexual, or any of the other "types" but if you are just you and you are single and your life is full of only none intimate relationships then this isn't for you. So go feel bad about yourself today and pick out your crazy cat lady (or man) outfit because if you are single on this one holiday then you are a loser and you will be single forever.... WRONG!!

I would love to give you a new outlook on the day of love. Lets say one of a more happy and less depressed or annoyed look. Maybe a slightly more honest and realistic new view. Do you have a minute? Lets talk.

I'm a total romantic and I am 100% ok with saying so. I want all the hearts and flowers and romance and normal wants and desires when it comes to relationships. yes. But! I am also a realist and I know things don't always work out exactly how I see them in my head. I also feel like people are too closed minded in life when it comes to things like Valentines Day. At what point do we break away from generic ideas placed into our heads about how things "are suppose to go" and start making our holidays and life events about us and the people who are in our lives now loving and supporting us? Why would you ever get into the state of mind that just because you may not have a typical "Valentine" or "Valentine Date Night" planned that you cant be involved our celebrate? Or why would you allow that idea to make you feel less than, less loved, or less worthy? Why do you think you cant spend the holiday wrapped in all kinds of different types of love and relationships? Why does this holiday only have one idea of perfect and only fit certain people? It doesn't have to...

Valentine's Day, like anything and everything else in your life is exactly what you choose to make it into. It can be positive and fuel your life in a good direction and be spent with the people in your life that you love and love you back, or you can choose to be negative about it and just because you aren't spending it with a "date" or ending the night off in red satin sheets gaining the perfect "sex hair" then you need to boohoo about it and feel negative about life or even worse about yourself. WRONG!
Just because you aren't spending the holiday "in love" doesn't mean you cant spend the holiday "being loved"

Let me throw this out there... Could you possibly stop focusing so much on your relationship "single" status for just a minute... Just long enough to see all the other types of love around you. The beautiful and amazing types of love that can benefit your life just as much as a romantic type. They are out there and sometimes we neglect them because we feel like our lives can only be perfect with one type of love and that love cant possibly come from anyone other than a significant other right? Wrong again! There are so many amazing forms of love that can come to you informs other than just a boyfriend or a girlfriend. What about your mom or your dad? Siblings? Best friends? Pals? Chums? Girl Friends? Bros? Co workers? Grandparents? There are a lot of people in your life that can offer love and companionship with out being romantic partners. There is one that is very important. I would say the love from this person is the most important of all and with out it all other relationships can tend to struggle. That love comes from yourself.

Loving yourself is the first and most important love of all and with out it, finding someone else to love you can be hard. The lack of love for yourself will do more harm in finding that perfect someone, than finding that perfect someone will be able to fix. It isn't their job to fill that void. Its your job to fill that void. Their love and support can help you in very positive ways but unless you start to grow and change and gain that love for yourself, it will only hurt relationships and put strains on them that you will lose control of.

Yes its Valentines Day. Yes its marketed towards couples and romance to make money off of it. Yes couples enjoy this holiday. Yes its ok to enjoy this holiday with your loved one. No you don't have to be an outsider and feel bad about yourself. No you don't have to feel like you are suppose to hate it just because you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. No you don't have to hide from the world or feel like a loser. This is your day to love and be loved just like it is for couples!

What if this Valentines Day you shared your love with people who you aren't romantically involved with. What if you spent this holiday just loving and sharing love. What if you help make this holiday for everyone by making it about love and not about being in love. What if you help make this holiday for everyone and not just for couples. What if you spent it having dinner with your mom or dad. What if you spent this holiday with your kids. What if you spent this holiday visiting your grandparents or maybe you Grandma or Grandpa who lost their valentine and need someone to spend the holiday with too. What if you made it a girls night! or if you are brave enough fellas make it a bro night! Pizza and beer know no difference rather its Valentines Day or not! Its always good and always loves you. These are all people in your life that you love and love you back so why not fill your Valentines Day with them? Don't let your brain lie to you and make you think it isn't the same just because it isn't with a lover but loved ones instead. They are just as important parts of your life as the other.

This is a holiday about love so spread the love! Spend the day volunteering or giving back to your community. Go to an animal shelter and love some fur babies. Head over to the homeless shelter or women's shelter and donate love in the form of your time and help. Visit an old folks home and let them fill your heart with their valentine stories while you fill theirs by just listening. Spend the day treating yourself because you deserve it. There are so many options that we rule out because we are made to think Valentines Day is only meant to be spent one way. I'm here to tell you that it isn't.
Valentines Day like everything else in life is what YOU make it. Not what other people tell you it should be.

Happy Valentines Day. Celebrate it with those you love and have fun doing it!!!

Emily Doll TVD
"Remember to always be yourself and you will always be in style!"

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