Monday, May 2, 2016

Confidence: Get a Double Dose with The Doll

"Get a double dose of pinup confidence with The Vintage Doll!" 

 Confidence is something we are all born with, but over time can lose little by little until it almost seems like we never had it at all. Confidence is such an important thing to have. It helps us everyday in many forms. Rather it be in our own lives, or giving us the strength to help others in theirs, confidence is an important aspect for all of us. 
 In my line of work I have many women who tell me "I wish I had your confidence". I remember when I did not have the confidence I do now. I remember when everything scared me and my most used phrase was "I can't do that". I questioned myself, doubted myself, had zero faith in my ability to do anything and a confidence level to match. I lived thinking everything in this world was for someone else to do or achieve, not me. Early on I accepted that I would always be in the background because I did not have the confidence to hold any other position in life. 
 When I was 16, I discovered a culture that was about to change my life and I had no clue. When I was introduced to the rockabilly scene and pinup culture I felt like my spirit was set on fire and something changed in me. I knew I had to be apart of it, but once again my lack in confidence became an issue and I said "I can never be apart of that, I can never be a pinup." So instead I silently studied pinup and rockabilly culture and life style and learned everything that I could about both without embracing it myself. I did that for almost five years. I didn't embrace something I loved for five years because of my lack of confidence in myself. 

 It wasn't until I was 21 and a mother of a new baby before I finally accepted my love of pinup and realized I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had studied it for so long but my mind kept telling me "Emily you can never do that! You are not brave enough, or bold enough, or pretty enough, you are so plain, who are you to be a pinup!?" 

I had to step back and really look at my life. I had let fear and lack of confidence control everything that I was for so long. How was I ever going to accomplish anything unless I took back control and gained confidence in myself as a woman, a mother, as myself! Denying my future and not embracing what I wanted in life was not only hurting me but my family as well. By not being confident in myself meant that I was not the best that I could be for not only me but my son at the time. 
The thing about not having confidence in yourself for so long is that taking the first step in getting it back is really hard and can take time. Baby steps should I say. I wanted to embrace the rockabilly and pinup culture so badly but I didn't just jump into it and call myself a pinup! I slowly eased myself into it building confidence as I went. Stepping out of my comfort zone, doing things that made me uncomfortable, failing at times, it all was a part of getting my self confidence back and proving to myself I could do it all along. 
By embracing my love for pinup and showing myself I could do it even when it was hard for me to see, what I truly embraced was myself. I could always do it, I just couldn't always see it. Taking control of my self esteem and my self confidence was always a possibility it just took time for me to grasp that concept because I lived so long telling myself I couldn't. We are born into this world with purpose and a plan for our life and it is our job to find out what it is. We may try several different things along the way to finding that purpose, but how can we ever find what we are meant for in this world if we aren't brave enough to even try. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could be brave enough to do what I am doing. It's taken eleven years of continuous pushing and staying at it, and building my confidence to realize what I am doing was always meant for more than just taking pictures. 
Becoming a pinup is teaching me more about myself than I ever knew. It's giving me confidence in myself to take on anything and everything and by doing that I can teach others the same. 
It's ok to have doubt and be scared and question yourself. We are human it's what we do. The important thing is to not let it control your outcome in life. It's so important that you push yourself because once you overcome the fear you have in yourself, your confidence can be unending. So many of us walk around doubting ourselves for so many reasons that are just not true! We have so much false in our heads that keep us from what we deserve. "I'm too fat" "I'm too skinny" "I'm not good enough" "I'm not pretty enough" "I'm not smart enough" "I'm not brave enough" "It's not meant for me" 
We have to start training ourselves to think the way we were meant to and stop allowing the negative input of society and the media and those around us to take over how we see ourselves. 
You can do anything, you are worth everything, you bring something to this world only you hold and until you have the confidence to embrace that, you will never reach your full potential in life. I don't ever want to think anyone isn't reaching the star they were meant for because they simply think they can't, because they can! 
It's not easy, and it can be scary and sometimes things won't work out but you have to continue to push forward and try! You have to take control and you have to do it. By doing so you continue to build confidence in yourself and start to realize how silly you have been your whole life doubting yourself and what you can be and what you deserve. 
Pinups are a community of women who embrace their strengths in all forms through the confidence they carry with them in all aspects of their lives. It's what the pinup culture brings into our lives when we become apart of it and something all people can learn from us. That's something I will always love most about this lifestyle and be so thankful for. 
You don't have to be a pinup to have this type of confidence. It's in you no matter what. It's for everyone! If being a pinup isn't your thing, at least look at what Pinups embody with their confidence and strength and have a pinup heart! I promise it will help you truly see the beauty you are and the confidence that is possible for you." 

Emily Doll TVD 

Original article written for Classique Elegance Magazine 


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